The 2003 version of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre adheres to the pure and simple slasher movie formula: Introduce a gaggle of sexy young people; make vague gestures to distinguish them--Jessica Biel (Summer Catch) wants to get married and doesn't like pot; so she's our moral compass--then start hacking them to pieces one by one. The visual palette includes grimy crucified dolls; fly-specked pig carcasses; body parts floating in murky jars; a tobacco-chewing redneck sheriff; and many slender beams of sunlight cutting through dank; dusty interiors. The camera lovingly photographs Biel's tank-topped bosom and sculpted abs as she's running in terror from a bloated; chainsaw-wielding; human-skin-wearing maniac. This remake lacks the macabre comedy of the original; it's all about the nauseating sensation of waiting for something to jump out of the dark. Also featuring Eric Balfour (Six Feet Under) and R. Lee Ermey (Full Metal Jacket; Mail Call). --Bret Fetzer